I met this woman through a long-time friend of mine that I used to work with. She's obviously a very good writer, and is also "a writer". I read her blog pretty often, it's called "Happily Even After" and I LOVE the name.
She just posted this and I'm amazed. "Partners Play on the Same Team".
These particular words from her "Mr. R" were significant.
Mr. R: Well, maybe. But I'm not really the type to complain. Still I had issues that were building up, so, yeah, part of it was that I had to spill my complaints every now and then, too. But more than that, I think I realized that your wanting to talk through our issues all the time wasn't a bad thing. I mean, you weren't complaining just to hurt or annoy me. I realized we were actually supposed to get somewhere in those conversations.
Mr. R: Like on each other's side. I think that was the big breakthrough. When I realized I had to be on your side. And you had to be on mine. That by talking about our issues, we could actually be on one side--OUR side.
I think I need that tattooed somewhere, or on a T-Shirt. And no, it's not just because the "man" in the relationship said it - I'm not pulling one of those "Finally, a man who understands something all women already to" or some crap like that. I really mean that sounds like something everyone in a marriage should remember.
We play on the same team.
We ought to act like it - and truly want the other person in the relationship to win as much as we want ourselves to win.
Why is that so hard to remember??
until next time....